the Trumps responded over the weekend by tasking their own accountant as a monitor that monitors the court monitor.
"I'm going to have my own monitor! With blackjack and hookers!"
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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He tried blackjack already. Poor guy couldn't figure out how to keep multiple casinos, an industry known for basically printing money, afloat. Truly baffling considering what a genius businessman he is.
Turns out you can't launder money & profit from a casino at the same time.
He couldn't - utter abject failure loser.
Laundering is integral to casinos profits.
Which is an amazing achievement for Trump, as usually the issue with trying to launder money through a business is that it looks TOO profitable.
Repurposing discredited monitors.
But that too might fail to convince the judge, because it came from Jason Flemmons, a CPA who lost credibility when testifying at the recent bank fraud trial. Justice Engoron tore into the accountant last month, noting how Flemmons had “inexplicably” contradicted himself several times and seemed willing to bend over backwards to appease the Trumps. Engoron was annoyed at how Flemmons kept providing cover for the Trump family, like when he asserted that basic accounting principles require that an asset’s present value reflect discounted future income—but refusing to admit the Trumps broke the rules when they failed to do that.
I guess they had to get another accountant since the last one went to prison & is barred from working in finances.
🤣
Damn it! You beat me to it!
The more things he throws tantrums about, the bigger the change he will get a nice and friendly aneurism.
I hope he celebrates with a Big Mac feast and a nice lard milkshake
... and then promptly shits his pants, again.
At this point, Trump throwing tantrums is kinda just assumed. It's hardly news...
Although I have to admit the move to monitor the monitor is hilarious.
"We'll have our own monitor! With blackjack and hookers!"
Edit: damn it, someone already made this joke! I'm leaving it.
Trump is going to die destitute & in state custody.
The sooner the better.
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
We can only hope to dream. The oligarchy often works to preserve its members so who fucking knows...
The answer to everything Trump ever says is 'prove it'.