this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
523 points (98.2% liked)

Programmer Humor

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523
We Are Against Animal Testing (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 month ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'd argue the end-users are animals. Primitive at that

[–] logging_strict@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hmmm ... Thought it was agreed to not to say the quiet part out loud eh?

No one likes being insulted ESPECIALLY when it's true.

This is why we praise them and spin every statement in a positive light.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is why we praise them and spin every statement in a positive light

"I admire your creativity, but no we do not currently allow emojis in usernames"

[–] logging_strict@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago

"I admire your creativity. Will talk with our team, get their feedback, and timeline. See when can add support for emojis in usernames"

[–] logging_strict@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Just got back from talking with our team. The senior coder in charge of emojis in usernames is currently upgrading the windmills in the uk, having been able to enhance efficiency by 0.001%. Wow! Thats 14 Mega tons of CO2 removed from the atmosphere every year!

Will take the weekend to get commercial Fusion energy rolled out and right after that will address your issue. Which i'm sure many other users will be thankful you brought to our attention. And luckily had the right man for the job on staff. He's amazing, capable, enthusiastic, and eager to help.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

Medical device programmers:

[–] F04118F@feddit.nl 16 points 1 month ago

Animals are individuals, servers are cattle!

The Vegan GitOps lifestyle

[–] somegeek@programming.dev 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We test on humans

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 month ago

You work at Unit 731? I did, for a while, but the employee break lounge was always out of coffee. Not that I drink coffee, but I still thought that was disrespectful to the torture staff.

It's called dark humor, leave me alone.

[–] EABOD25@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I too oppose animals testing computers. They have no clue what they're doing

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago

Idk, I love when rabbit beat me in Call of Duty

[–] logging_strict@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

i'm opposed to Grandma asking for IT support

Grandma gets a smartphone

[–] logging_strict@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They live along with us.

  • a bulldog gets onto a treadmill

  • a dog is trained to press buttons on the floor to express their desires

  • AI is used to decipher an animals language meaning and speech recognition

  • Koko the gorilla using celebrities to do marketing and guarantee TV time and our attention.

All these things are animals using tech.

[–] EABOD25@lemm.ee 0 points 1 month ago

I said computers

[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But is the software written by developers with access to the outside and daylight? Even if they prefer to shun it and choose blackout curtains.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

Get your code from free range developers. The ethical way.