this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2025
341 points (94.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

32952 readers
461 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I know it’s a meme, but if you didn’t know already MySQL was named after the creator’s daughter My

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

And MariaDB was named after his second daughter right?

[–] breakcore@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 22 hours ago

Yes, and another projektrojekt MaxDB, is named after his son Max.

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 2 points 19 hours ago

And MariaDB is named after his other daughter 😉

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

LIES!!! ALL LIES!!! everyone know that postgres is the TRUE revolutionary sql! lol

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I think Postgres could win the MisSql pageant

Snowflake and DuckDB would be up there doing 10 different talents, then Postgres would just stand there and say “uh huh, I do that too” to thunderous applause!

SQLite would win the swimsuit competition but then struggle with concurrent writes during talent show and get disqualified. The judges would always get its name wrong.

Big query would get caught copying Snowflake and bribing the judges. Presto/Trino would require a full team to get dressed for the costume contest and miss the event.

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.

[–] davel@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 day ago

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

Oracle’s PR machine & dark money.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 22 hours ago

Let's not lie to ourselves now. The winner would probably be a SQLite flat file serialized into a postgres text column.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

There are a lot of companies running XAMP / LAMP stacks, for some reason.

MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.

But haven't you heard? It's webscale

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

and db2 wouldn't even be invited to compete. lol

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Isn't OurSQL just MariaDB?

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

Well, MariaDb is a publicly traded company. So it's "Our SQL" only if you buy stocks in them.

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 14 points 23 hours ago

No, that belongs to Maria

[–] data1701d@startrek.website 13 points 1 day ago

MariaDB for the win!

[–] Mwa@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago
[–] Rom@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago
[–] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 1 points 23 hours ago

This would be great news if it would happen, and especially if it brings back allowing the engine to be embedded.

Postgres is better, but embedded Postgres isn’t something that’s going to happen.