Piracy: ꜱᴀɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴇᴀꜱ

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The original was posted on /r/piracy by /u/Particular-Major8834 on 2024-11-18 18:34:15+00:00.

My left eye is unfortunately very sick and I cannot open it anymore. As much as this sucks, the silver lining is that I now have an excuse to wear an eye patch! I went to Party City and bought one for like $3, just to see how it felt socially to wear it. I didn't expect a $3 eye patch to be a long term investment and obviously it felt terrible to wear. Can the pirates of this subreddit vouch for any eye patches for me?