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I love my players (lemm.ee)

submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by SwiggitySwole@lemm.ee to c/rpgmemes@ttrpg.network

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Comic creator link: https://bsky.app/profile/sarahcandersen.bsky.social

In my last session, a player gave a sleeping dog heroin to cause it to overdose. Horrific stuff really

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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 39 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Me, playing a ratman at a human dinner party in some big-but-mundane mansion garden: "Are there any cats around?"

My DM, unsuspecting and interested in where I'm going: "It seems reasonable that there would be a cat. Yeah, let's say there's a cat."

Me: "Is anyone looking?"

My DM, suddenly concerned: "... no...?"

Me:

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 4 weeks ago

Looking out for the little homies

[–] Lianodel@ttrpg.network 22 points 4 weeks ago

I've made a habit of saying "Look, [city] was a powderkeg ready to go off before we even got there." It's come up in multiple campaigns.

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 15 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Was there a reason? Like, I'll even take some Mystery of the Druids "kill a homeless man to steal his change" logic in this.

[–] SwiggitySwole@lemm.ee 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

We were playing blades in the dark, they were sneaking into the back of a warehouse to steal some blood while the rest of the party made a distraction out front, the dog was right there and he didn't think he'd be able to sneak past it. He could have stabbed it but chose not to I guess. Maybe he thought that would be more cruel?

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 2 points 4 weeks ago

He could have stabbed it but chose not to I guess. Maybe he thought that would be more cruel?

Yup, that's some bonafide player logic right there.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 8 points 4 weeks ago

Me, planning consequences: hahaha

[–] DarkenLM@kbin.earth 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, most of the times, it's my GM who triggers the war crime fest. And he likes to use the character's curses for that. All of our characters are cursed in some way, and mine just so happens to be split personality that gets triggered by being drunk or sober. So any time the GM wants another mechanical war crime, he just cuts my alcohol supply. It often leads to interesting sessions.

[–] Tbird83ii@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Your... Your character is built around the Ballmer peak???? That. Is. Brilliant.

Mind if i use this for an NPC quest hook in my current campaign? My players like to have their characters drink heavily and break stuff. It would be an amazing little mini game of "feed the Nuke alcohol, but not too much and not too little or they will explode and take everyone with them". Except... Not like a bomb nuke... More like a trauma-fueled-bull-in-a-porcelain-shop type of thing.

Any further details you are willing to share about your character and their motications, I would be incredibly grateful.

[–] DarkenLM@kbin.earth 2 points 3 weeks ago

Go right ahead. Happy that my character has inspired you! Amd indeed the Ballmer peak was an inspiration for this character.

As for more details, my character is Mazarazan, a dwarf artificer that was gifted with an unatural proeficiency with magical artifacts and an even more unnatural ability to understand the very fabric of reality. The later ability, however, came with caveat that due to the sheer amount of arcane knowledge about reality he possesses, the knowledge itself started to become conscious inside of his own mind. And turns out, pure magical knowledge about the fabric of reality given consciousness does not form a sound mind. That second consciousness latched onto his own and essentially fused together, while still remaining relatively independent, and without any inhibitions, they are in a constant battle of wills, trying to hold control over the body.

The parts of his mind couldn't be further opposites. Mazarazan is methodical, cautious and deliberate in every decision he makes, always trying to see the ramifications of his choices and the consequences they would entail. His counterpart is volatile, impulsive and maniacal. It always tries to acquire more knowledge to expand itself, and takes actions mostly based on impulse and emotions.

Mazarazan is guided by scientific curiosity and strong morals, focused on making a science around the fabric of reality, so that the whole world may evolve and progress into horizons unknown and overall be a better place to live in. His counterpart, however, doesn't share those pesky morals always getting in the way. It is guided exclusively by (sometimes not so) scientific curiosity and it's thirst for knowledge. However, it is always up for some practical experiments, which usually end up in a new war crime being invented.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 weeks ago

Straight facts

Though my party hasn't done some as intimately evil as your play did, they've definitely committed some crimes against humanity at this point.

Selling WMDs to a crime lord, giving goblin Hitler (they never asked his political aspirations) access to a weapons manufacturing plant on par with WW1 tech, etc, etc.