❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗URGENT❗❗❗❗PLeSE READ ASAP❗MY REQESTS ARE MORE IMPORATNT THAN YOUR TIME❗❗ CC: yourboss,your mum,your uni prof
this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Programmer Humor
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Behind every ❗️❗️❗️🚨🚨🚨URGENT🚨🚨🚨❗️❗️❗️ there is a person who's about to miss a deadline and, instead of working on themselves to prevent that from happening in the future, makes it the developer's deadline to miss
Also that urgency is rooted in job insecurity, not even customer impact. They just don't want to look bad.
E: which I mean fair enough, me too, but still.
So much this.
I’m in my first professional role and the first project was completed and aside from my boss I was the only other dev. So I was naturally excited for their (clients) feedback on it.
Well fast forward a couple of months where they really didn’t interact with the application much and then came the queries and then not understanding how to use it. Find boss sets aside 10 days for me to write some documentation with screenshots of all the journeys (free of charge).
Again, tumbleweeds. Then all of a sudden it’s boom emails a plenty.
Can you fix this, this is a major bug kinda emails. Like it isn’t a bug, you don’t know how to use it.
Now we are dumbing down the software to make it more align with what the business is used to, which is fine but even my boss has said (as I over think and want to reply to things instantly) that just because they have come to life doesn’t mean we drop everything else to tend to them now.
Man I don't regret leaving this behind at my last job. You start out by doing someone a one-off like "sure I can pull the top 5 promotional GICs broken down by region for your blog article - I love supporting my co-workers!"
Then requests become increasingly esoteric and arcane, and insistent.
You try to build a simple FE to expose the data for them, but you can't get the time approved so you either have to do it with OT or good ol' time theft, and even then there's no replacement for just writing SQL, so you'll always be their silver bullet.
Hey! I just started looking at SQL and this is the first SQL joke I've ever seen or at least ever gotten!
So, congratulations me!
Welcome! Please complete your setup by placing this on your wall: https://xkcd.com/327
Lolz got that one too
At work, I am currently dealing with a table that has no primary key, no foreign key, duplicate (almost) serial numbers, booleans stored as strings, and so on. It's a nightmare of a table.
Entity framework is acting like I'm on meth for using such a table.
How about a date stored as an integer?
Edit: and I'm not taking about a timestamp
No, we have worse. Dates sometimes stored as strings, sometimes as datetimes, and sometimes as integers. There is no consistency, logic, or forethought to the schema.
It's rough.
I've been there and you know what's worse about it? When you fix it only you or a handful of people notice the astronomical labor you did.
"It worked before why did you change it? You are just doing busywork"
Yeah. Luckily the work I am doing is to fix some really bad work that the entire company has been complaining about. So once it's fixed it will hopefully be a little bit more recognition than that. Plus my boss is pretty level headed.
But who fucking knows? There is always the likelihood that people will say things along those lines. And it ain't my job to fight them on that.
Me this morning. I'm gonna take a look at why this Jenkins pipeline is failing. This one job starts a dozen others. Half are failing. For different reasons. After starting rewriting a job that someone half assed. Realize the original error was caused by missing input but some are still valid. Still can't figure out why my rewritten program is erroring. Get pulled away because another program did something weird... I completed nothing today but worked a ton.
My day...
It's OKAY to say no.
I've gotta get better at this...
Only 3h? What kind sql magician are you?!
See this is where Excel ... well, excels!
Pivot tables do these data pulls pretty easy
Please don't tell that to any manager. They'll misinterpret it.