this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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If the average American were asked what they imagine the priorities of the feminist movement are these days, most people would likely cite concerns like "fighting abortion bans" or "getting justice for sexual violence victims" or boring mainstays like "equal pay for equal work." But if you listen in to the world of right-wing social media influencers, they have a different answer. To them, feminists are single-mindedly obsessed with destroying women who identify as "tradwives."

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[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 153 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Are they also selling the fantasy you can make ends meet on a single person's income?

[–] Twentytwodividedby7@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Right, that's the most idiotic part. My wife has a career that I also make sacrifices for and vice versa. Even with modest career growth, she will contribute about $4M in earnings over 30 years.

Setting earnings aside, we have a child, and she is an equal partner. It would be insulting and foolish to ask her to stop working. We want our son to grow up knowing that women are just as capable as men.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

It’s the same fantasy. You work on seven years I’ll work on odd ones

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

They're selling the fantasy to people still living with their parents.

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[–] Pratai@lemmy.ca 134 points 1 year ago (21 children)

All right wing fantasies are rotting young men’s minds.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 85 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Remember boys and men: If you can’t get a girlfriend, much less a woman of your dreams, just become radicalized by a fringe extremist group on the internet.

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 26 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Worked great for the Taliban, hasn't it?

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 23 points 1 year ago

Exactly, if you can force all women to be subservient, they'll have to date you.

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[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 73 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I've heard the term "tradwife" before, and it always seems to equal "Someone who will be a new mom, but does what she's told".

Based on direct personal experience I recommend a witch wife. Intelligent, capable, not submissive (unless she wants to be) and definitely not helpless.

[–] Toribor@corndog.social 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Young disillusioned men who don't think they are getting the respect they deserve fantasize about a submissive wife and family that they can rule over as a Patriarch. They think that this is more natural or normal than marriage as a partnership of equals.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 17 points 1 year ago

It's fucking gross

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[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine not knowing how to cook or do anything for yourself so you need a captive woman to do it all for you and not resent you at all.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

My conservative friend is literally this person.

His mother was his "slave" and now he found an "asian slave." He doesn't cook or clean or anything really. He's even told me to look for foreign women because "white women" don't want to do things for you like others will.

She does all the work at home and he makes money. He's living the 1950s conservative dream...

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Married my Filipina last Friday! She's the perfectly coifed and feminine "tradwife" this article is talking about, but Jesus that word makes me almost physically ill. These young men are looking for slaves, not partners. Had a gf like that once, bored me to death.

I have to note, there's something to be said about a traditional division of labor in the household. We both cook and clean, but it's 90% her doing. I do all the "manly" stuff she's clueless about. It works because no one is bitching about a thing not being done. Without any real discussion, we both know who's responsible for what and we take care of one another's needs. There are almost zero arguments, and when there are, they aren't angry.

LOL, it was kinda hard to adjust to! "Baby, I can feed myself, been doing it for decades. I can also run a washing machine." She's never had a man that didn't treat her like a maid. I've turned her around from being so submissive and now she is more open with me, less fear of offence.

tl;dr: I just married the finest women I've ever known, and she's what the article describes. But she's my partner, not my slave. If anyone's a slave, it's mutual. :)

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[–] keefshape@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I dislike your friend so much, just from your description of them, that I caught myself wanting to down vote your post.

Sorry friend lemming, thanks for the hard share.

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[–] guacupado@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, look how many chicks can't make any money and they all think they're 10/10s looking for dudes to pay for everything. There's a real weird dynamic going on with this generation. Both sexes aren't even successful at their own default stereotype but want their partners to be the perfect stereotype.

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[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 65 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No one:

Conservatives: WEMEN BAD

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

I like that there’s even an accidental confession in the spelling.

[–] banneryear1868@lemmy.world 56 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Naïve man children who need validation because being with someone their equal is scary, and the "tradwife" insofar as they exist, wants to be completely dependent on this manchild. Sounds like a great idea I'm sure it works out well all the time. The idea of being with a woman like this hell to me, and any of the associated sexual fantasies involved are hotter when power is willingly relinquished, from either person, not in some weird coercive context.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

being with someone their ~~equal~~ superior

This is their real fear. And that if women are given a chance to live their life in freedom, the men might actually have to offer something on the relationship table that they might not be able to manage.

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[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Everyone here assuming all of us know what a tradwife is....

Anyway, from the article:

" "Tradwife" is internet slang for "traditional wife." It's largely a social media trend of conventionally attractive white women putting out TikToks and videos gushing about the joys of submissive marriage and "modesty," though notably this "modest" clothing often leaves little to the imagination. "

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[–] schema@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fleecing these nutjobs by pandering to their fantasies is so fucking easy.

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[–] FarFarAway@startrek.website 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

In my doomer brain...

It's just a preview of what's to come if the far right takes over, for every woman that is unfortunate to come across a man that is all in.

They'll reverse no fault marriage, and then when you marry the guy (either because the guy pulls a bait and switch, or you don't really understand what your agreeing too until after the fact) you either comply or get beat into submission, with no way out, while you pop out babies

This is a handbook, not a fad.

I'm sure I'm wrong and it's a bunch of women that don't want to work...but if it's not, it could turn into some scary shit.

[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 year ago

Well. The Handmaid's Tale is the handbook since they literally want Gilead and have been openly working towards it

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is like ragebait to the third power.

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[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I'm curious how all these alt-right (e.g., white supremacist/christian nationalists) think that they're going to be able to afford a family--since the very concept of a tradwife is rooted in having a large family--when their wife is going to be entirely a stay-at-home wife? What kind of career do they think that they're going to have? Are they in medical school, or prepping for the bar exam? Did they just finish their MBA?

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago

The funny thing is that the GOP were the ones who destroyed the middle class. In 1968, one job supporting a family of four with a stay at home mom was the norm. Nixon's Vietnam War inflation [he paid for the war with paper money to avoid raising taxes] combined with the Oil Boycott made more and more families dependent on a second job to keep going. After three terms or Reaganomics, the two income family was the norm. Meanwhile, $1 million in 1968 was a vast fortune, and by 1993 it was what a rich guy paid for a party.

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[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I've met people who live that life as a kind of kink. It's honestly amazing that people can somehow afford it.

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[–] Borkingheck@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd love a trad wife or frankly to be a trans trad wife? Basically I'd love myself or my wife to be able to not have to work and actually be able to spend time cooking meals and doing household chores, so we actually have more time with each other at the weekends.

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[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Social media is really no different than traditional media: you play a character that appeals to your specific audience to sell something, in this case, the tradwife lifestyle, because that's what their audience wants to see, a kind of fantastical parallel universe like Barbieland, a fantastical parody of the media's depiction of 1950s Americana to make money. Don't get too angry at that, because fictional persona are just that, fictions, and the second the camera stopped rolling these characters cease to exist, because these characters cannot step into the real world.

In reality, how many women would actually put on cute pink sweaters and nice stainless farm dress and a full face of makeup to cook and clean? Trust me, nobody looks this good when they are doing housework.

I understand why these kind of video became popular, because they are ultimately is a reactionary movement in response to some of the more extreme and vitriolic voices within the feminists movement, but again, a broken system that is inherently unfair is still broken even if the sides are switched, and it's still not the equality and fairness we should all be striving toward.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

There's nothing I find more pathetic than a man that cannot get through the day without an obedient slave to wipe his arrse for him.

It's the epitome of fragility.

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