Literally my entire personality is just trying not to relieve childhood trauma.
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Zero judgements from me, but if nobody has ever told you, that's a PTSD symptom (ask me how I know ๐ฉ). Just wanted to affirm that it's real and not a personality flaw if nobody has ever told you before. If you have access to therapy it's definitely a topic worth exploring with a good therapist that you trust.
Thanks, therapy isn't really an option for me but overall I'm pretty well adjusted because of it outside of a couple of areas so it's not TOO bad.
Understandable, it took something like 20 years for the stars to align for me to both have access to therapy and find a good therapist. Glad to hear you're otherwise doing well!
That last part actually sounds kind of sweet. Definitely not the first part. My realization cause a lot of anxiety and still it's difficult to try new things because of it, even though I accept it.
Me when I realize in therapy that this weird anecdote about my family was actually a link in a long chain of generational trauma. ๐ฅฒ
".. That reminds me of this funny story about the time when..."
therapist not laughing, but takes notes
Other people have real trauma, but I was sad as a kid so now my brain has decided we cant have anything nice anymore
It's all relative. You don't have to compare your issues with anyone else's or else there'd only be one person who had it worst that would be allowed to feel bad. Sometimes it's because of internal struggles that make things difficult and you don't realize til later. I only relatively recent realized I had been depressed a good chunk of my life, and likely due to having undiagnosed adhd literally making everything feel harder for me.
In my family, we call that "childhood trauma"
I think my family called it "I'll give you something to cry about"