this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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do the right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?

like when it's like a lady and a cop and the lady seems like a normal sorta boring suburban lady

do you know what i mean. this is one of the things where if you try to ask an AI bot it yells at you

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[–] girl@lemm.ee 196 points 1 year ago (18 children)

They definitely think they’re the good guys, both the men and women. Not many people knowingly choose to be villains. They are convinced that their ideals are just and true, and their opponents are godless child-murderers and rapists.

[–] alvvayson@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

They 100% think they are the good guys.

I know for sure, because they are my close family members.

Those who supported the KKK, Nazis, confederates, slave owners and apartheid leaders.

They all have in common that they saw themselves as the good guys and saw the other people as bad or naive.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

This has been my experience with my own family, neighbors, coworkers, etc. They think of themselves as the good guys "standing firm" against the hoards of those "scary other people" who want to take their guns, raise their taxes, and wage war on Christmas. Even though what those "other people" really want is affordable healthcare, education, and housing.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 110 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I am way, way, way more progressive than my husband but we both grew up before things got so polarized. It's hard to talk to him about politics because he has gotten sort of propagandized and will spit out sound bites instead of arguing in good faith.

But in terms of what do I think? He's a great guy, stays in shape, does the dishes, holds down a job, and our sex drive matches (which is a difficult thing to find at this age, more difficult than you might expect). He respects me, is loving and is easy to talk to about anything except political stuff. We are both adventurous in foods, like the same movies, his family likes me. We do not have a gun, live in the city now (he moved to town as I balked at moving to the suburbs). He is not at all racist as far as I can tell, we hang out with whoever and he lived around the world as a kid, one of his kids in interracial relationship, he did not bat an eye at that either. He's a good guy in and out with some crazy ideas is what I think. Agrees on some things that I'd consider progressive (universal healthcare) but still thinks "regulation" is the root of all evil, as I think corporate greed is.

We just have really different ideas about what is wrong with society and what would help. Also I'd note - his ideas might actually help in some very socialist country, but here in the US and especially Florida they make no sense. He doesn't see that, and I think that's the root of the problem.

I can't tell you what a right wing woman would think though. I do know some religious conservatives of various religions but they aren't politically conservative exactly. The rest of our friends are maybe right of my politics but all our kids, mine and his, and their spouses and partners, are at least Democrats and some socialist/social democrat. So I won this generation and am satisfied.

[–] min_fapper@iusearchlinux.fyi 42 points 1 year ago

Oaf. Give your perspective for someone who asked for insight and immediately be told by people that your life/relationship is wrong.

I want to take a moment to just thanks for your reply with no judgement.

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

I don't think I would want to be with someone that went to the voting booth every few years and pulled the leavers to take my health rights away, because ultimately that's what is happening. It would be a betrayal, it's not benign and all the affable personality traits mentioned wouldn't make me forget it.

For these rebuplican men, it's saying "I respect you but regulation has gotten out of control, and your bodily autonomy is a price I'm willing to pay to fix it".

The man shows no signs of sexism, of xenophobia or racism , or bigotry, but pulls the leavers for those things anyway.

You find his ideas crazy, note he has become propagandized, and is difficult to talk to about politics. I dare say if you pushed those conversations you'd be shocked at what you find.

Ultimately voting is an act, not speech or opinion, it's an act to manifest your will and your priorities onto others through force of law.

So while one can take the approach of getting along to get along when it comes to regulation and corporate taxation, it becomes less easy when you recognize that, as a functional adult making an informed choice, your husband acted to end women's bodily autonomy, erode women's health care, end same sex marriage, deny and delay climate change action, and a whole host of other abhorrent policy goals.

I want to say, I take no pleasure at all in saying this to you. None. Your response to the post is just so personal it feels impossible to respond to in an impersonal manner. I just felt the need to challenge the idea that affable personality traits can make up for abhorrent policy goals.

[–] darq@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago (7 children)

There's a reason why the feminist saying "the personal is political" is so threatening. Because it denies precisely the reasoning seen above and elsewhere in this thread.

Conservatives often complain about progressives ending relationships and friendships over "politics". Because they want to draw a hard line between the two, where as long as they behave civilly to people's faces, it doesn't matter when they vote to make the same people's lives materially worse. Because "politics" is something... I don't know, abstract?

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[–] rchive@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Interestingly something like 41% of women identify as pro-life. I know you and the person you were responding to probably wouldn't, but my point is just that there are a lot of women who would see their conservative male partner vote for anti-abortion candidates and not be bothered at all. Not because they're rationalizing it, but because they don't see it as a negative in the first place.

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was raised far right and very extremest from Alabama originally. It is honestly a conspiracy culture of people that never question the way they were raised and it perpetuates generation after generation. Most of the people that are smart enough to see the conflict in their ethos are too scared to go out on their own without the social support network they were raised with. Like I am almost entirely socially isolated after becoming partially disabled by a poor driver 10 years ago, and rejecting my far right religious extremest roots. I don't have much of a choice, but like I have no idea how to connect with people outside of a religious context. I have many physical issues now, but it is hard to leave that friends network that insists on an all or nothing mindset to stay in the network.

[–] UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Join and be more active in communities. Could be certain video games or hobbies but you can easily make some friends by just interacting with the communities of the things you already like.

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[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Some women I know in this position believe they're somehow different or better than the people who the cops treat like animals and that it would never happen to them, only to the undesirables that deserve it. Over 40% of them are wrong according to statistics.

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[–] dmention7@lemm.ee 50 points 1 year ago (9 children)

On a scale from "a lot" to "all of them", how many marijuanas did you inject before you typed this out? 😂

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[–] serial_crusher@lemmy.basedcount.com 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They probably both have compatible opinions on what constitutes a good person. They might disagree with you on some facets of that, but you’re not who they’re in a relationship with.

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago

I'd assume they're drinking the same kool-aid too. They've most likely had a "traditional", conservative upbringing, so women have their place and that's just the way it is, as God intended. Abortion is an abomination, society is forcing all these scary new sexual terms on us, pronouns are just for trendy teens who want to feel special, and MeToo exposed how sexually depraved all these liberals are. I don't think conservative women really identify with any liberal values, they've internalized their whole conservative worldview so much that they don't even see the abortion debate as having anything to do with their rights.

[–] JustZ@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

Stupid losers with no self esteem attracted to other stupid losers with no self esteem. Nothing complicated about it.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (16 children)

They think the things you'd be surprised to learn people actually think.

I.e.

Crying makes you weak. They're with manly men who don't cry or go to therapy or any of that woke commie bullshit. They're with strong men who will protect them. Louder = smarter.

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[–] Floey@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

Isn't it sexist to think that women can't hold their own regressive political ideas, and they only do so because they were tricked by a man?

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