Not The Onion

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We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk (www.jezebel.com)

submitted 5 days ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 112 points 5 days ago (11 children)

Wow, that is impeccable timing.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 69 points 5 days ago (10 children)

47 hours and 21 minutes before he was shot....

Sounds like they got the intensity off a little tho:

I want to make it clear, I’m not calling on dark forces to cause him harm. I just want him to wake up every morning with an inexplicable zit. I want his podcast microphone to malfunction every time he hits record. I want his blue blazers to suddenly all be one size too small. I want one of his socks to always be sliding down his foot. I want his thumb to grow too big to tweet. To ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven would be my life’s greatest joy.

Maybe they forgot Venus was in retrograde?

[–] you_are_dust@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I guess you don't get to make specific demands when you start calling on the forces of darkness.

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago

If this is the work of the Lord of Insufficient Light, I am very much a fan.

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