this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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If the average American were asked what they imagine the priorities of the feminist movement are these days, most people would likely cite concerns like "fighting abortion bans" or "getting justice for sexual violence victims" or boring mainstays like "equal pay for equal work." But if you listen in to the world of right-wing social media influencers, they have a different answer. To them, feminists are single-mindedly obsessed with destroying women who identify as "tradwives."

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[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've met people who live that life as a kind of kink. It's honestly amazing that people can somehow afford it.

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

While our kids were little, my wife could've had a job that just about broke even with daycare. Maybe netted $200/mo. Why the hell would I put her through all that and spend on gas and an extra vehicle for $50/wk. That's a buck an hour! The family was better off being supported on a single income.

It wasn't kinky. Well okay we worked a little kink into it. I'm not saying everyone needs to try this one little hack, but we ran the math and dual income didn't make sense for us; single income wasn't anything we had to try to make work. Yeah we had to make choices and limit ourselves a little, but only a tiny bit less than otherwise. Our monthly budget was like $3k or something and another $200 was nothing.

[–] FarFarAway@startrek.website 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Stay at home mom is one thing, but was she subservient and obedient?

There's a difference between a woman staying at home to raise kids because it makes financial sense, and what these women are peddling.

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

TMI: I mean we are kinky so it felt like a natural fit at first but it didn't take very long to get uncomfortable with household submission outside the bedroom. Especially since we have daughters and even if it was sexy for us, it sure as hell wasn't behavior I wanted to model for them.

So as far as your point goes it really wasn't kinky, but I have some understanding of how it can be for some folks who already decide single income is the right choice for them. But once kids enter the picture, kink has to go behind closed doors. Family dynamic has to grow beyond just what tickles two people.

[–] FarFarAway@startrek.website 4 points 1 year ago

This is fair. You guys tried it out, within a certain context. When it didn't feel right yall moved on. There's nothing wrong with trying new things, and there's nothing wrong with using this concept to be kinky. Spice up your life, I say. And, good on you for not wanting to role model that for your daughters!

I feel like what's going on here is more than just a kink, though. I can see how what these women are doing could be construed as a kink, but that seems superficial and kinda dangerous. These women aren't just saying "Yes, Master" when their husband's tell them to bend over and pick up that spoon they've dropped, wearing some maid outfit in a xxx rated 50 Shades of Grey fantasy. They're advocating for compete and total control, by their husbands, over their everyday lives, from a religious standpoint. Not going out at night, having trackers on their phones, and controlling who their friends are, are also some of the things the videos of those women in the article listed.

Yeah, the article is about how it's giving young men the wrong idea about relationships, comparing it to how porn gives them the wrong idea about sex. But, at the end of the day, I think its a poor analogy. Its not just about lonely guys having unreasonable expectations of a wifes role in (and out, in this case ;) of the bedroom. The message here is that women should all love not being treated as equals, in any regard, and their only role is to cater to a man's every whim, because thats what the Bible says. Not just whims sexual in nature, but in every aspect of life. If a large amount of men come to expect every woman should act like this...well, just ask women in Iran or Afghanistan how that's going.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't think raising kids is what people are talking about here

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

It's definitely part of the context. What do you imagine these stay at home wives are supposed to do while they aren't earning money? The desire for a tradwife and the number of times per day the word "cuck" goes through their heads is closely related.

Kids are certainly part of the alpha-male fantasy package. They wants fifties household complete with kids and the husband spanking the wife if there are water spots on the dishes. Kids are both a status symbol and another layer of control.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I got a coworker who claims is wife is like that, don’t know if this is true or not but he does mention it a lot.

[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Interesting.

I managed to find them while exploring a related kink that I would like to avoid naming as I don't enjoy being kinkshamed.

The experience with the discord community I had joined was positive at first but became negative over a series of poorly moderated interactions and increasingly poor community rule implementations.

That being said, the thing I found in common was that the women who were interested in that lifestyle tends to enjoy having an easier life and not having to worry about the every career bullshit. Instead getting to focus on keeping a house neat and orderly, ensuring meals were worked and other activities.

More power to them I suppose, reminds me a little too much of secret society by nofx or the 3 slogans from 1984

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Maybe they are in a poly relation with their bank and also indulging a findom kink?