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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] Sybilvane@lemmy.ca 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My own experience is that the lower and side areas around the opening going into the vagina are a lot more stimulating than the clitoris, which makes penetrative sex so much better. This is not very common for women, but it might apply to your partner. Applying gentle pressure to these areas is good for me so that could be something to try. Gauge her reaction. I believe this preference is very uncommon, and I've had partners refuse to believe I like it, so I'm not very open about it anymore.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you I'll try that 🙏

I hope you know that that is on them, open communication is important and I don't see a reason to doubt what one says about their own body.