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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

NSFW 72 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Talk to your partner about it

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I did, she doesn't have the experience to know what do to and she isn't against me looking into it, but she is okay as things are right now.

[–] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If she is okay with things you should leave it alone, lest you put pressure on her to orgasm which is like, one of the least sexy things I can think of.

You can enjoy sex without orgasming. Sometimes my partner or I will opt for strap sex even though it is harder for both of us to orgasm because it feels nice/scratches a different itch. If she wanted to orgasm during sex she'd probably start masturbating to make it easier to do.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Of course I would not pressure her, I'm just looking to see if there is something that I didn't think of