this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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Also don't ask women out at the gym, at work, in a store, on the street, or any hobby where they just want to enjoy themselves and not have to be asked out politely or otherwise.
The only acceptable places according to women are on the apps and in bars, or church supposedly if you're one of those.
I don't do the privacy violating apps, I don't drink much anymore, and both of those are more "hook up" culture while I want like "an actual relationship," and church just isn't for me. Like, I could go hang out but I'm not going to believe in your gods, and that is a point of contention with the faithful.
You know what I figured out as a man? Just listen to the other party in this order of increasing priority: body language, facial expression, their words. MAIN THING TO AVOID: Never assume they are/will be comfortable with you. Never assume consent with body language or facial expression. If they want to be romantically involved THEY will approach you.
Before I was married my mind was on alert talking women in order not to come off as creepy. This was with women whom I had purely platonic relationships like my coworkers or college mates. I am aware the effect men have with their staring. To this day when I am walking on the street I make sure to not walk behind women. If I can i overtake them. If not I just change directions even if my destination is straight ahead. Treating the nonfamily women in my life like I would treat men should be the right thing to do... but its not easy with the reputation that men have among women.
So my point effectively is just don't be creepy and pushy. Just be polite and reciprocate interest. Otherwise just treat them like your sister or guy friend.
Why don't you use websites without using apps?